Since October, I've taken an unplanned (and quite unwelcome) writing hiatus. A nasty combination of depression and busyness took me far, far away from my blog.
And writing in general.
Every time I thought about writing, I'd feel my stomach knot and my throat tighten up. I got weepy thinking about myself earlier this year: ambitious, ready to start calling myself a writer.
But I haven't felt like a writer for months.
I'd free write, but the first sentences were always some variation of "I feel awful, and I don't think I can be a writer. I was a fool to think it was a good idea, and now here I am with nothing to show for myself."
I had lost the one thing that I felt I could rely on, the one thing I felt uniquely good at.
And then something in my mind tilted in my favor (thanks, brain chemicals, for this little reprieve). It's still rocky, but I started hearing something resounding in my mind:
Action is the answer
This came to me in a yoga class a couple of weeks ago: action is the answer. Even when the action is to take a step back and do nothing. As long as whatever you are doing (or not doing) is done with intention, you're moving in the right direction.
This post is the action step I need to get myself back into writing. It's not a masterpiece, it's not clickable or shareable or SEO-friendly. It's the action that I need to take for myself right now.
This blog will be going through some growing pains as I take the next few months to focus on action over everything else that bloggers "should" be doing. Please bear with me, as I bear with myself.
So here I am on this first day of December. I can't say that I'm back with certainty, but I can say this: I wrote and published a blog post today.
What actions did you take today that are moving you in a positive direction? We're all fighting our own battles, so if you need an action or accountability buddy, let me know.